It’s finally here, the biggest televised sporting event of the year, the one where various companies still manage to scrounge up amounts nearing three million dollars for a single 30-second televised spot, recession be damned. It’s the Super Bowl.
Now, this year we’ve got what is sure to be a fine match between the Pittsburg Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals, but rather than give you a tired run-down of my predicitions for the game and bored, uninformed reflections on the NFL season that has come and gone, wouldn’t everyone just be a hell of a lot happier if we showed you the best Super Bowl things online right now? The sneak previews for new commercials, some of the best ads from years gone by, gorgeous cheerleaders, the ultimate man’s recipe for Super Bowl Sunday, and the like? Sure.
Mysteries of the Yellow First-Down Line.
First, a video: undoubtedly one of the best things to happen to televised football coverage over the past several years is the digital first down line. There is literally nothing in any other sport that has so changed the enjoyment of TV coverage. Directly out of a Madden video game, that beautiful big yellow line added an unforseen element of clarity and comprehension to a sometimes confusing mess of slamming bodies and helmets. Now when you see that running back perform a stunning jump over two tacklers, only to dive, arms outstretched, for that last inch, you know exactly why the man is doing it. You’ve got a big yellow line showing you. Here’s a video that explains just how they get that line to show up.
The Hottest Super Bowl Commercials Ever.
An Old Logo for a Sort-of New Game.
Next, the New York Times rounded up some designers and had them try their hand at redesigning the Super Bowl Logo to make it more contemporary. A few of them aren’t bad, some are pretty forgettable or generally un-usable, but then there’s the super-minimalist one of Aaron Draplin, which is uniformly awesome. Imagine if they took this and branded everything with it? It’s like an amazing old Atari game graphic.
And Of Course We Can’t Forget the Cheerleaders. Please, We Simply Can Not.
What would a Super Bowl post be without some cheerleaders? Here are just a few of the best from the past season.
Eat Pork, Pork, and More Pork on Sunday. It’s both a Right and an Obligation.
Apparently this absolutely insane recipe has been making the rounds in preparation for Sunday. Just look at this damn thing. That’s a bed of bacon, filled with sausage, and wrapped. Pound for pound it looks like the fattest thing in history, which means you are virtually obligated to make it on Sunday. 5000 calories and 500 grams of fat later, you will be in heaven, also known as some kind of emergency room. It’s called the Bacon Explosion:
The instructions for constructing this massive torpedo-shaped amalgamation of two pounds of bacon woven through and around two pounds of sausage and slathered in barbecue sauce first appeared last month on the Web site of a team of Kansas City competition barbecuers.
The Negative Side of Super Bowl Week is Here to Teach Us Valuable Life Lessons.
And we’ve got Esquire’s list of the top Super Bowl week disasters, and boy oh boy is it full of some classics. Who can forget Adrian Awasom’s DUI last year:
Awasom was sent home prior to the Giants’ upset of the Patriots, did not get to experience the greatest upset in Super Bowl history, and is currently not on an NFL roster.
Or Stanley Wilson in 1989, found in his hotel room, out of his mind on cocaine just the night before?
“The player was sweating and shivering. White powder flecked his nose and upper lip. The devil was back, for good.” Wilson was left off the active roster for the game and kicked out of the league forever.
Get more of them here, and pray nothing similar befalls (or has already befallen) a Steeler or Cardinal this week.