Recently making the trip home from an overseas stay, Lindsay Lohan was spotted passing through Heathrow Airport in London, England to catch a connecting flight. The “Mean Girls” cutie struck a few of her best flight attendant poses as she toted her luggage through the terminal, later heading off to party at baseball star Barry Zito’s house. The return flight comes as LiLo has been dealing with all sorts of drama with her estranged father, Michael Lohan.

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Lindsay Lohan: Flying Amidst Daddy Drama

Getting in some all-important quality time, Katie Price and Alex Reid were spotted enjoying some lunch together today in London (November 6). The British glamour model and her cage fighting beau looked to be having a marvelous timeas they strolled past the paparazzi, chatting away to each other. And though her son Harvey was released from the hospital after a swine flu scare yesterday it seems her other son Junior has been rushed to Caterham Hospital in Surrey today.

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Katie Price and Alex Reid: Lunch Lovers

Given the fact that they got married a mere month after meeting, it’s no wonder Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are already looking to have kids. The “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” babe and her LA Laker hubby paid a visit to Chelsea Handler’s talk show recently, revealing that they have babies on the brain.

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Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom: Baby Fever

Taking the stage on opening night, Kelly Brook showed off her acting skills in “Calendar Girls” at the Noel Coward Theatre in London’s West End on Tuesday (November 3). The British glamour beauty plays a lady who is “married to a golfer, who moves to a small Yorkshire village and finds her life empty, until she forms a bond with the Women’s Institute members - with whom she poses nude for a calendar aimed at raising money for leukemia research.” Talking about the role, Kelly said, “A few of the girls in the cast are more game than others to go nude.” The stage debut comes after a an intimate dinner at London restaurant J Sheekeys with boyfriend Danny Cipriani the previous evening.

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Kelly Brook Makes “Calendar Girls” Debut

Taking her girls out for some fresh air, Jennifer Garner was spotted out and about in Boston, Massachusetts yesterday afternoon (October 29). Joined by Violet Anne and Saraphina Rose, the “Catch and Release” actress looked to be having a marvelous time while keeping everyone bundled up to chase away the autumn chill. In related news, Jennifer has been named the new spokesperson for Save the Children’s Make Time for CHANGE campaign

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Jennifer Garner: Mommy Duty in Boston

Continuing her humanitarian efforts, Madonna was spotted at the groundbreaking ceremony for her Raising Malawi Academy for Girls today (October 29). The Material girl was joined by her children Lourdes, Mercy, and David as she visited the Mphandu la Orphanage outside Lilongwe, posing for pictures along the way. And it sounds like Madge got quite an upgrade earlier this week when one of the orphans she has helped declared her to be a god.

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Madonna: Mommy in Malawi

The Timeless Art of Girls on Walls.

We all have that undeniable urge to put up posters and photographs of naked women on our walls. Admit it. We want them up there to greet us when we walk in, to look down on us as we sleep or partake of other in-the-bed activities, and we want them just because they’re naked and nearly life-sized, damnit.

But it’s not exactly classy to head online, order up some posters from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, or Playboy, or wherever, and just throw them up on your wall. Too fraternity-house, too “Mom finally let me put a lock on my door so I can do whatever I want in here now!” kind of thing. We’re not all 15 anymore.

But wait, wait… just because we’re also trying to act like respectable, classy men (sometimes), are we forced to never put up a large-scale reproduction of the female form? Forced to never contemplate the excellency of that wonderful creation, resigned to examining it only in small, magazine format, online, or in person?

Here’s a Very Fine Solution.

No, we’re not forced to. Societal constraints might prevent us from doing so without a tinge of remorse, but we here at ryoni.com, who know all about the importance of the female body, have discovered what is surely the classiest solution that still allows you to have nearly naked women all over your walls.

It might take a little leap in taste and tolerance, but trust us, that one day when you finally move in with your girlfriend and have to start making decorating decisions together? That day will involve you putting up a representation of a nearly naked woman designed to make people slightly excited while looking at her, and your girlfriend saying “I love it!” and it staying on the wall forever.

How is that possible? Easy: pin-ups!

That’s right. There’s a whole world of glamorous art available to go up on your wall right this very moment, and practically all of it is 100x classier than any cheesy frat-house poster you’ll find elsewhere.

The King of the Pin-Ups.

For something that’s a little less arousing than a full on 2000s-era swimsuit model but still fun to look at, check out some of the unbelievable illustrated work done by the best pin-up artists of the 1940s and 50s. Alberto Vargas is one famous name, but for my money, no one is better than Gil Elvgren.

There’s something about his colour schemes, about the gorgeousness of his women, and the fact that in nearly every piece of work, they’re being ‘caught’ by the artist’s eye in some wonderful phase of undress.

He strikes the perfect balance between the pin-up aesthetic and showing skin, never getting too boring but keeping things just on the edge of tastefulness all the same, which is why his art is perfect to adorn your walls. I’ve got three of his prints on mine.

If illustrated pin-ups aren’t your style, go for actual pin-up photos. There’s a goldmine of good stuff out there, and there’s a certain voluptuous sexiness about many of these girls that you won’t find on a modern calendar.

Curvaceous, Gorgeous Women.

Standards were simply different back then, so what might look like flaws or a more compartmentalized sexiness today (generally, I’m talking about an extra few pounds here, a bit more curvaceousness there) was not only the mainstream back at the time, but was actually celebrated.

As such it means your sexy wall posters are not only more human-looking, but if you ever find yourself in the position of having to defend, for whatever reason, the fact that you have a lot of girly photos on your walls, you’ll be on much more solid ground when it’s time to make your argument.

And If Pin-Ups Don’t Do it For You?

If you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t just put up swimsuit photos on his wall but goes all out and plasters his room with posters of completely naked women, is there a tasteful option for you? Well, yes and no.

Putting up various pieces of vintage erotica, old nudes, and Playboy shots from the 50s is probably your best bet here, but a lot of the old erotica photography just isn’t going to get the eyes of today very excited.

Partially because it’s not very well done in the first place, and second because it’s just a little weird in general. Every woman photographed looks practically the same at first glance.

So unfortunately, those of you who need (or just like) full-on nudity up on your walls are probably a little out of luck when it comes to trying forsome ‘tastefulness’. But don’t worry.

If you ever decide to dial down the erotic quota that covers your wallpaper, there are plenty of extremely sexy and wonderfully sharp pieces of work out there that can keep your desire for nudie ladies intact while saving your decorating sensibilities, too.

Girls Have Secrets.

You might think you know all about the G-Spot or the ubiquitous lower-back tattoo, but do you have any idea what the Dimples of Venus are? The Whale Tail? Do you know that buttock cleavage (there’s got to be a better name for that) has been sexually attractive for centuries? If not, never fear—we’re here to tell you about a few of the strange mysteries of the female body, the uncharted territories and places that actually have real names and concepts attached to them.

A lot of these things come into common knowledge as trends—the kind of things you hear someone mention at school or work before you realize it’s a full-fledged meme, a concept that has been known for some time but has only recently got a proper name.

You Probably Know About the Sex Moves.

Maybe you’re thinking of the sex moves: the dirty sanchez, the rusty trombone, all those non-existent and generally misogynistic myths that always involve some sort of outlandish act. No—these are something else entirely, little hidden parts on the female form that have only recently gained the proper nomenclature to go with them. Check them out:

What About the Dimples of Venus?

Dimples—those little indentations that appear on the cheeks of certain people when they smile—are generally known by everybody. So what are the Dimples of Venus, then? Simple: dimples that appear at the bottom of the lower back, just where the butt starts. For a more formal explanation, I turn to the always-reliable (well, no) Wikipedia:

They are sagittally symmetrical indentations sometimes visible on the human lower back, just superior to the gluteal cleft. They are directly superficial to the twosacroiliac joints, the sites where the sacrum attaches to the ilium of the pelvis.

Hm, sure. In layman’s terms?

The term “dimples of Venus,” while informal, is a historically accepted name within the medical profession for the superficial topography of the sacroiliac joints. The Latin name is fossae lumbales laterales (”lateral lumbar indentations”). These indentations are created by a short ligament stretching between the posterior superior iliac spine and the skin.

Guess not. But it’s clear enough from this—they’re irregular and actually pretty damn desireable. Coming, as they do, at the exact point just above the g-string or bikini line, they form a rather perfect complement to what’s down below.

Or the Whale Tail?

The exact opposite of what you’re thinking, probably. When I first heard the term “Whale Tail” I thought it was referring to some kind of strange deformation of the rear end, a kind of ass that ballooned outwards and somehow, somewhere, made someone think of the tail of a whale. No.

Turns out the actual thing itself is much more appropriate to its name: just like a whale’s tail sticking out above the water, the whale tail on a female—one who has let her pants ride down somewhat, thus exposing her underwear—looks exactly like one. You could call it a Y-shaped thong, and again, according to Wikipedia, it was worn quite intentionally by various celebrities over the past decade, apparently now having fallen out of favour.

Good, I say—who wants an intentionally created piece of underwear exposure when the improvised, happenstance, random one is really the only reason it’s sexy?

And We Can’t Forget Buttock Cleavage!

This one is 100x clearer than the other two we just looked at. You know what it is, the cleavage formed at the top of the butt. But did you know there are desirable depictions of it going back almost three centuries? Check out this Danish painting by Christoffer Eckersberg. Those old Danes were surprisingly adept at prediciting our early-21st-century enjoyments (or trends, at least) when it came to the female form.

Although buttock cleavage and the whale tail have fallen out of favour recently, they’re responsible for a couple of things: besides creating a new term that’s cool in a linguistic sense, they trained our eyes on previously unknown areas of female attractiveness. Any time a ‘new cleavage’ or erogenous zone gets ‘invented’ like this, we as men benefit, as something that wasn’t so special only days before, becomes, right in front of our eyes, yet another entry in the great catalogue of female sexiness.

The endless media coverage surrounding the otherwise useless day of February the 14th is designed solely for news shows to fill air-time with pointless questionnaires, asking every passing dope what romantic piece of crap he’s planning on getting his sadly undeserving girlfriend. Cue the anchor making a few jokes about chocolates and candle-lit dinners and bewildered, bumbling guys screwing up, and there you have it: Valentine’s Day.

Nah, it’s not just an invented holiday designed to sell greeting cards or fill restaurants, although it is all of those things and more; no, Valentine’s Day is something ubiquitous, annoying, and unavoidable—a kick in the ass if you’ve been slacking off in the romance department, a reminder to every sadly-single person that other people sleep in beds, together, day in and day out, and so on. But it doesn’t have to be any of these things if you’re careful, which is where we come in.

Just in case you find yourself falling into those familiar Valentine’s Day traps—feeling guilty and obligated to do things, or acting fake-romantic and confused as you over-do it—we’re here with a guide of the Top Five Worst Things you Could Possibly Do for Valentine’s Day. Some are silly, some are depressingly familiar, but all are important and avoidable, unless you want to screw stuff up. Read on, fellow men, and go towards the 14th of this month with confidence. Or wanton disregard for your own well-being. Either way.

#5:Get Blind While She Doesn’t

What This Involves: Heading out for a romantic evening with a secret plan to get wasted hidden in your back pocket. Working on a light buzz during appetizers but trying to keep things level, steady, smooth. It’s hard when the wine goes down so good with the food. When your second course comes around, you’ve failed any known sobriety test, and the waiter’s question about dessert sharing is met with a slurred “I ain’t splittin’ shit” from you.

Once you and your lovely girlfriend hit a bar “for drinks” after dinner (a course of action that took 20 minutes—and you walking off in the direction of the nearest bar—to enact) you’re having mild vision problems and big couple problems. The night ends (for you) when you spend 15 minutes sleeping in a public bathroom and your girlfriend, after much struggling, puts you in a cab alone. Bravo!

Why This is Worth Avoiding: They just don’t fit together, Valentine’s Day and drunkenness. Rather than saving this kind of behaviour for an obvious choice like St. Patrick’s Day, why not bust it out when it’s both unique and strangely fitting—the Summer Solstice, for example. That way, when someone asks you why the hell you’re celebrating so hard, you can drool out a sentence like “the pagans took my god damn sun” and everyone’ll be happier.

#4: Celebrate the ‘Holiday’ Only out of a Sense of Romantic Obligation

What This Involves: You ironically mentioning that it’s close to Valentine’s Day, an ambiguous response from your girlfriend, followed by a half-panicked attempt to do something, anything to cover your ass. You buy some chocolates at a drug store and some flowers at a cheap supermarket, two actions driven entirely by resentment and barely concealed contempt. Confused about how to present these sub-par gifts, you strive for a sense of uncaring lightness combined with an undercurrent of legitimate romance nestled somewhere in there, if you could only find it. Despite your best (worst) efforts, you come off looking insecure and insincere. Congratulations! What is left of your relationship ends days later.

Why This is Worth Avoiding: Although the embarassing inadequacy of being romantic only when called upon by greeting-card makers and cheap chocolate factories should be obvious to everyone, it’s always helpful to re-state it. If this is the only time you can be a man, well, it’s been nice knowing you, friend. Your report card on those 364 other days of the year in which you did nothing will be arriving shortly, in the form of an SMS from your girlfriend saying, simply, “f**k this i’m out“.

#3: Eat at a Hellishly-Decorated Restaurant and Will Yourself into Feeling Sexy

What This Involves: There’s a scene in the Sex and the City Movie (yeah.) where two of the characters have a Valentine’s Day dinner in what has to be the worst-decorated, most oppressive restaurant environment of all time. If we could find a picture, it’d be here, but a description will suffice: picture sickening streamers of every colour suspended from the ceiling and an already-cold interior made even worse by the ugly shininess of everything. What does this have to do with you? Well, that’s easy: you got lazy, and through your last-minute reservations ended up at a restaurant that is willing to decorate itself like the aforementioned monstrosity.

Why This is Worth Avoiding: There are plenty of good restaurants that are already romantic, and if you’ve taken the leap and decided that yes, indeed, a romantic dinner for two is going to be your Valentine’s Day celebration, the least you can do is seek out one of these places and take advantage of its natural charm. Any restaurant that puts up a bunch of red stuff all over the walls and hangs silver things from the ceiling in a vain attempt to convey sexiness is going to leave you—and more importantly, your girlfriend—feeling anything but.

#2: Acknowledge the Holiday in Any Way, Shape, or Form if You Are Single

What This Involves: Three basic activities here. If you find yourself doing any of these, please stop, take a deep breath, and move on. It’s not worth it. In order of depressing obnoxiousness:

1. Using the holiday to embark on a long meditation about your own singlehood, observing every other couple around you and immediately inscribing romantic bliss onto their relationships, and barren, desolate loneliness onto your future.
2. Taking way too much time to explain to others—especially those in relationships—why Valentine’s Day is overly commercial and a waste of time (hmmm, kinda like this article).
3. Perversely celebrating Valentine’s Day on your own by regaling yourself with chocolates or other indulgences you’d otherwise avoid.

Why These are Worth Avoiding: Because there are 400 other, better things you could be out doing as a single guy (or girl) on Valentine’s Day. Wait until you’re actually down or depressed to agonize over your relationship or lack thereof; don’t do it just because society is apparently ’shoving it in your face’ for one day a year. It’s not society’s fault. Watch an enticing video and feel better.

#1: Over-Celebrate the Damn Thing.

What This Involves: Full-on immersion in every bad cliche this propped-up ‘holiday’ has to offer. Chocolates, roses, chocolates made out of old roses, puppies, overly expensive dinners no one really enjoys, vomit-inducing greeting cards: it’s all out there, if you’re willing to embrace it.

Why This is Worth Avoiding: Have you seen some of the stuff young, creative people do these days, just for fun? It blows any tired old red-coloured, love-themed holiday celebration out of the water. So here’s what you do instead: choose 5 random days of the year. Mark them on your calendar with some sort of symbol known only to you, and setup a little reminder system so you know when they’re coming (Google Calendar is great for this). On each of those days, do something romantic yet creative (the two are the exact opposite of mutually exclusive), get your girlfriend something sexy, take her out for an amazing dinner, whatever. Any or all of these are equivalent to a large missile being launched at the empty spectacle that is Valentine’s Day, and any or all of these will make you a better man.

So: this February 14th, re-read this article and choose wisely. We’re behind you all the way.

The brazen thrills found in wonderful videos and photos of luscious women are just fine, but they aren’t everything. There are—unfortunately—times when we have to head out into that broader world out there, and with such an obligation comes that eternal question: must a man have his own code?

The long answer is that every man is unique, that one person’s moral code is never instantly, immediately, or easily applicable to another person, and that each sees and experiences the world through his own lens, and thus must find his own path, his own way of being in the realm of experience.

The short answer is hell yes. Every man needs a code.

Here are ten rules you should be following in your quest to be the best man you can be. When you’re done checking out everything else this site has to offer, brush up on these admonitions—some universal and timeless, some contemporary and strangely specific—and go out into the larger world with verve, my son.

#10: Be Chivalrous.

Don’t worry about defending, explaining, or justifying yourself here. Just remember these two things: do not condescend (chivalry to the point of ridiculousness) and do not over-think (don’t worry if you forgot to walk closest to the curb last time you were on a date. It’s ok).

#9: Pay Attention to Your Shoes.

Yep. Unless you’re doing something really specific style-wise with those skate shoes, it’s time to move on up. Take the three-pair route: street, casual, dress. If you’re good, your street shoes can be something like Converse All-Stars, which you can use in various outfits without looking like a kid. So get good.

#8: Know What Music to Play During Dinner. And After.

If you’re lost in this area, go find your local independent music shop before it shuts down forever, and ask for “dinner music that won’t make anyone sick.” Don’t go with too much lounge or 4 hours of Thievery Corporation. Jazz, especially anything pre-1965, works wonders here. Take advantage of that crazy jazz guy’s knowledge before he gets fired.

After dinner, in more intimate situations, know this: albums by Marvin Gaye and Al Green are cliched and overdone and silly and obvious for about four seconds, whereupon they suddenly become perfect.

#7: Know How to Cook Dinner.

If you’ve announced that you don’t like the act of cooking or live in a wonderful city full of incredible take-out, fine. You’ve made your decision and you’re gonna live with it. But if you’re just coasting along on 2 or 3 plates and a dessert you make “better than anyone else!”, get moving. Before you master carpentry, fishing, hunting, or any kind of expensive off-road habit, you should hear other people refer to you as “a good cook.”

#6: Know What to Bring to a Party.

A few factors come into play here: you need to predict what the party is going to be like, using your knowledge of the host and some plain old intuition. Or just ask, straight-up: “Messy blowout, casual get-together, or nice dinner party?” Bring a bottle of wine to all of these. Ascending price based on classiness of party.

#5: Understand How to Drink.

After a certain point it becomes slightly ridiculous when you’re getting equally drunk at every event featuring copious amounts of alcohol. Pay a little attention. And hey—this is harder than you probably think. It’ll take a while. Don’t worry, we’ll be there for you.

#4: Comprehend the Difference Between a Text and a Phonecall.

Today’s wonderful technology means we’re texting each other at an ever-increasing rate. So—the medium has changed, but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass. Texts are for confirmation, little appointments, lots of other things; they aren’t for following up with a woman after a date, telling your significant other something really important, or anything that should still (for the foreseeable future) be done with your voice.

#3: Change a Flat Tire.

Even if you never have to do it, know how it’s done. This is a symbolic piece of knowledge for you and you alone. If you have to change a tire, careful: once you’re finished, act just like you would when you offer your seat to an elderly or pregnant person on the bus. Don’t make excessive eye contact with the other riders and don’t bask in your own goodness. Just get back in the car and get back to being yourself.

#2: Know How to Transcend.

Make sure you go beyond these arbitrary lists of rules for men, occasionally. Sometimes it’s deadly important to think about what it means to be a man, what “manliness” means to you or any number of people in your life, and you’re probably not gonna find all those answers online. When you do something transcendent, or something big happens to you, embrace it—don’t fall back on ceremony when you don’t have to.

#1: Be Your Own Man.

Most of these lists feature something about facial hair, grooming, or some other trend-dependent thing that changes every year. So here: let’s say this rule told you to “cut that facial hair.” Then pretend you’re going to ignore that suggestion, because it’s not set in stone, hardly necessary, and the world is boring when everyone’s got a clean shave. Take this philosophy and expand outwards.

Yesterday we threw out five things you can start doing, today, to slowly-but-surely transform yourself into a fine dude. No tricks, no deceit, just straight up self-improvement in finest Thoreauvian style. The great thing about all these methods is that they work for anyone, at anytime, whatever your level of accomplishment with women is, or with life in general (they also work for females, too, of course). And they’re just plain useful to do in general, so while you scope out gorgeous women on the site, read on for some fine ways on how you can start getting them into your life, if they’re not there already.

These methods, more than any quickly learned game, are the things that will keep your personality going, the things that will make sure that you don’t end up with a wonderful girl at your side and have nothing to offer after some fine pick-up techniques.

First, a side project: read this very short and very excellent short story by Tobias Wolff. See the part where he talks about this:

after he’d really messed things up, and been fucked over, and got lost, and kept going anyway—when this little green soul of his had taken some lumps and some weather and bulked up into a man’s soul, so that he could look out of his own eyes and not feel like a kid in a mask.

Besides straight-up experience, these are the kinds of things that need doing if you want to get past the problem Wolff writes about above.

5. Be good.

This doesn’t mean be wishy-washy, soft, overly nice, boring, or dry and earnest. It means find the outlines of a moral framework somewhere (mentors, your own thoughts, philosophers, religion, whatever), know it will change over time but don’t let that stop you, and work towards some kind of goodness. What this really means is being conscious when you do shitty things. If people detect that you have a sense of goodness you’re working from (if it seems innate, hey, you’re lucky) or striving towards (like most of us), they’re apt to trust you, open up to you, and all the rest. Including women you’re chasing after. Don’t abuse the priviledge.

4. Stay Positive.

The most cliched on all the list, and thus the most simple. Girls like positive guys. Not stupid/positive or dopey/happy, but positive. Unless you are a misanthropic artist who uses emotionally-screwed techniques to win beautiful girls to your bed over and over again, you’re not going to pick up, get with, or stay with anyone by constantly being pissed off at life.

Sure, great art sometimes comes out of a fundamental pessimism (check Beckett for a reminder). But chances are you’re not a great artist, so don’t use that as an excuse for anything. If you were to follow every piece of advice on this list, meet dozens of women, love many of them, have years of rich experience, and THEN decide to lapse into negativity, fine. You’d have earned it and you’ll be an interesting guy regardless. But don’t start from there.

3. Play to your strengths.

If, through some strange anomaly of nature. you find yourself naturally unable to try or accomplish any of these suggestions, here’s still one to remember. Take a while to figure out what you’re best at and work on that stuff. Hard. Don’t force your interest in stuff you just don’t give a shit about–there have always been more things in the world to learn about than your mind could ever fit in a lifetime, so you’ve gotta pick them well, which means you’ve gotta know yourself a little bit.

There’s a little exception here, which is that if your strengths fall into the nerdier regions and include playing World of Warcraft, posting on message boards, and generally using computers with some skill, you gotta branch out. Doesn’t mean any of those things are shitty on their own, but don’t let them turn into everything. Ogle beautiful girls online and then go find them in real life. The two can exist hand-in-hand just fine.

2. Don’t complain.

Although this seems just like our previous “stay positive” admonition, it’s not. Sometimes, no matter how hard you’re trying to keep positive, you’ll find yourself whining or complaining about something. This is generally toxic, especially at the beginning of a flirtation or relationship. It’s also the easiest thing to do, sometimes. Which is why it’s brutal.

No, really: it’s far easier to complain about the bullshit your manager just dumped on your desk and how he’s an embarassment to the company and your perspective on how your government office works is pretty unique and even though you try and do a smart job no one gives a shit which just makes the days shitty and there’s never any time anymore and who the hell really wants to…. see? There’s almost nothing easier than complaining, and if you don’t watch it, you’ll do it even with people you’ve just met.

If you’re prone to this, and many are, this is something you’ve got to keep in your mind constantly in order to not fall into its trap. Naturally, endearingly positive people often seem like they’re born that way, but there are plenty who are continuously making the decision not to complain, the conscious choice, over and over, until it becomes natural. Try it, especially if you’re working on your game.

1. Be active.

The only reason this is #1 is because it makes all the other things on this list so much damn easier. If you get half an hour of good exercise in every day, literally every single other thing we’re talking about here becomes magically, incredibly easier to pull off. Nevermind all the other benefits. Spending lots of energy paradoxically gives you even more. It literally makes your days longer.

Got any extra suggestions? Let us know through your comments!

Sometimes you just need a little push. Your game is good, you’re plenty sharp as a guy, but you know there are just certain things you could be doing right now that would not only make your own life a little more shining and rich, but would draw females toward you in that effortless way you’ve always wanted. These aren’t really secrets–successful guys (successful people, for that matter) do these things on a consistent basis, but everyone starts somewhere. So here are 5 things (with another 5 tomorrow) you can start doing today (just pick one of them, don’t over-do it) that will instantly and permenantly up your cachet in a lasting, legitimate way.

And this works for guys who already have girls, too. Improving yourself and becoming more attractive (in the original sense of attractive, ie., that you attract others towards you) is something you should probably be doing your whole damn life, not just in that ferocious period where you’re trying to win a girl (or several). Being ‘effortlessly good’ takes work, but it’s good work, so read on for 5 things you can do, pick one of them, and start.

10. Learn another language but keep it damn interesting with good movies.

Read Tim Ferris’s post on the subject and start small. Pick a language that’s useful to you (something like Spanish, French, Mandarin, Arabic), and figure out the language books that get recommended the most. Use amazon for that. Pick up one, and then use it as an excuse to watch a ton of movies in that language (obviously subtitled in English, but if you work hard for a few months you might start watching stuff in its original language–always subtitled.) Italian and French are the best candidates for this based solely on cinema alone. Best of all, this ties into #9:

9. Pick a cultural area and get heavily accquainted with it.

Like Italian film. Don’t do this lightly and don’t fake it. Read a couple of books on the subject and watch what you can. You gotta branch out. Here are a few to try, if you’re feeling lost:

• Any major part of art history
• Any major literary movement (try reading 3 victorian novels and a light, fun non-fiction book on the period. It’ll do wonders for the next time you have to explain why your moral system isn’t crazy, which is perfect when you’re chasing 2, 3, 4 girls at once…)
• Music below the surface (pick anything here: early or late reggae, delta blues, balkan brass bands… it’s limitless)

Whatever you choose will lead you to future things. When you’re interested in stuff, it shows. Keep positive, stay curious, and people will want to know more.

8. Travel Alone

Try a couple of weeks entirely alone through a foreign country. I don’t need to explain anything else about why this is good for you becoming a more attractive, desireable guy, but if you want to make a good impression you really should have the capacity to pull this off. It speaks volumes about your capacity elsewhere.

7. Cook, for the love of God

Don’t be intimidated by other dudes who are experts in one cuisine or another, naysayers who call you elitist, or those who hold their enjoyment of food as a kind of snobbery above everyone else. We all gotta eat 3 times a day, so it’s one area you can improve yourself in without putting yourself out too much. Keep it positive and buy something like Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything. Maybe throw in Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food so you can explain why you’re spending so much more time cooking these days (not that it should really be necessary). Start simple and fresh. Don’t go nuts making 4-course heavy french meals for your friends when all you gotta do is work from simplicity.

6. Work–yeah, actually work on–your own sense of curiosity.

This is hard. This is real hard. But it makes all the difference in how much input you get into your brain from other people, and it does a billion other things for you–it fills you with information, with stories, tales, anecdotes, and emptathy for others, understanding, and experience. When you develop (and you do have to develop it, only a select few are born with it naturally) this ability to be curious in other people, to put the initial unknowingness on hold at the beginning and treat every person you meet like they have a prize-winning novel-worthy story inside of them, you’ll be on a step towards making yourself a great person too.

And not to mention how flat-out attractive this makes you. Again, in the traditional sense of the word. People are attracted towards people like this, for obvious reasons. Read this article about Studs Terkel. Now I doubt any of us could match his insane enthusiasm for other people, but if you can capture just 5% of what he got from his fellow man you will be a lucky dude indeed, in every sense of the word.

Try 5 more tomorrow!

I’m loath to lump you all into a big pot and suggest none of you have finished your shopping–the most important shopping, the shopping you need to finish in order to do right by your woman this Christmas. And I’m also plenty reluctant to suggest that even the most well-chosen gift can help out your relationship if you haven’t been keeping up your end throughout the year. But you have been keeping up your part, right?

Sure you have. The fact that you don’t have anything good save a cheap scarf and a pair of re-gifted earrings doesn’t mean you aren’t still planning on using these last two days before the holiday to get that undoubtedly perfect, personalized, incredible gift your girl deserves. You’re just doing it late, is all, and there’s nothing wrong with showing a little grace under pressure.

And so, because you’re in control of the situation, thank you very much, this list isn’t necessary. Nevertheless, why don’t we go ahead and throw out a few sure-fire options that could seriously save your ass on Christmas morning, would your proverbial ass somehow be in a position to require said saving. Just for reference’s sake.

5) A Spa Visit.

If this is cliche, then all gifts are cliche. Go all out and get her a deluxe spa treatment that lasts half the day, or get a 2/3 hour treatment for your girl and a friend. Then she’ll have someone to go with, to indulge with, to relax with, and since the idea of heading off to a spa alone just doesn’t seem as fun as doing it with a friend, you’ll seem more thoughtful as a man. And that’s because you are more thoughtful, because you thought of things.

4) Promise a Specific Vacation.

This one is easy. Figure out what you can afford, do some basic research (look at a few Rough Guides in a bookstore for an hour or two), and most importantly, pick a spot.  And choose something good. Go spend a week in Brazil or Argentina. Rent a cabin in rural Quebec for a weekend. Find a cheap flight to London and then hop over to Portugal for a week.

All these things will need to be sorted out with you and your significant other later, but the whole point is that you choose something, you get a kick-ass card, and you write something like “You and me. Week in the south of Spain. Great tapas, even better wine, and flamenco until the early morning. This April. All I need from you is a yes.”

It’s a more romantic way to do a vacation than just plain old ‘planning’ one together, and adds a certain special something to the trip. Plus it allows your girl to say “so-and-so’s flying me off to Spain,” like it’s something you, international playboy that you are, would do at the drop of a hat, instead of the more routine “we have planned and are going on a joint trip to Spain at some to-be-determined point in the future.” Nah.

3) Food.

Here’s an easy rule that has served me well: Good food is always good. There are tons of luxury Italian delis and French cheese shops and Parisian Chocolateries in every major city in the world. Go in there with an open mind and the confidence to ask lots of questions.

Start asking about good olive oils or balsamic vinegars or strong, aged cheeses, or amazing truffles. And try some samples–good shops will have them available on demand without a problem.

Put together your own series of 5 or 6 items, but make sure you get the backstory. Then, when you present the gift, you can explain where this or that product is from, why it’s kick-ass, and why she’ll love it. Sure, you’re just repeating what the dude at the shop told you, but use a little charm.

Don’t say “the crazy Italian guy at the deli said this was good” when you can say “this balsamic vinegar was made in Modena, its only true Italian home, and then aged for 4 long years, which gives it a completely different taste and texture that’s like nothing else, which is why your salad tonight will probably be the best you’ve ever had.” See?

2) A Very Specific Card Promise.

Just like the vacation, but for something a little smaller-scale. Get a really beautiful card and write a few drafts of a solid message. Promise your girlfriend a dinner, made by you, 4 days from now. Explain exactly what you’re going to make.

While you’re out rushing around for other gifts on the 24th, take a look at the menu of any good nearby restaurant (you gotta be downtown for this, not wandering around a mall, but you know that already, right?).

Find a few of those descriptions on the menu that make the food sound amazing, and lift them. Do up your own version. A salad, a first course, a second course, and a dessert, and make the card up just like a menu. You’re the serious-but-playful chef for the night, and she’s overjoyed.

1) Stay at Home and Get Creative.

Take 5 hours (yeah, it’ll probably take that long) and write a story for your girlfriend. Write a fake news article a la Onion about how why your girl is ridiculously gorgeous (an ‘Area Girl Melts Several Eyes’ sort of thing).

Spend a few hours putting together a whole bunch of your best photos and find a printer shop on the 24th that’ll do a poster for you. Creativity is key. Put the work in on something cool, not on walking from store to store, wasting your mental energy trying to decide between one arbitrary product and another that you know nothing about, something you’re relying entirely on a salesperson to pitch for you. It’s not worth it.

Do something strange but good: stay at home on what would normally be a big shopping day and try something wholly original. It beats a half-baked purchase any time.

Have any other killer, no-fail, incredible last minute gifts you’ve got in the past or are giving this year, amazing ones you know are going to make your girl’s Christmas? Tell us in the comments!