Tag Archives: madrid

Top 5 European Cities For Getting it On


That’s right, here are some of the sexiest cities in Europe, the legendary and the newly-established hotspots where you can arrive, hit the town, and… get it on. Some are classics, some are unexpected, all are full of romantic potetntial you’d be a fool to squander.



Ah, this is my current city, and thus the one that comes first. It’s the eternal city, as they say, but not necessarily known as the most romantic place on earth—the chaos and improvisational nature of Italian life mean it’s not as easily insta-romantic as, say, Paris. But, hey, it’s Rome, so don’t worry.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Head out for a relaxing walk through some of Rome’s classic old neighbourhoods, ones like Trastevere and Testaccio, until you settle upon a small Osteria for dinner. Use a site like spottedbylocals to pick one that’s authentic and delicious. After dinner, hop in a cab and get back into the historical center, grab a gelato by the Pantheon, and then walk through the small streets until you’re back at your hotel/hostel. Before you go in for the night, throw back a 1-euro coffee in a nearby bar for some extra strength. Get it corretto (correct, which means with a shot of alcohol in it) and you’ll be set.

If You Don’t: It’s legal to drink outdoors in Rome, but if you’re a tourist here, it’s best not to go overboard (actually, it’s currently illegal after 9PM, but hopefully only for a temporary period). They say you’re stuck chatting up other tourists and travellers because of the inaccessible, overly protected ‘Italian female’, but that’s just an old stereotype. Head to San Lorenzo, the student district by the train station, use a site like Roma Zero to find a club night, show, or bar with a DJ that fits what you like, and go in. Drink, dance, and talk to the Italians and see what happens.



What to say about Paris.. it’s expensive, one of the most touristed destinations on the planet, but also one of the most incredible cities ever. Can you break through the cliched expectations of French romance and actually pull something off? Of course you can.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: You’ve got it easy. Get some good beer at a Brasserie in the afternoon, hit up a chocolate shop or two and keep walking it off, eat somewhere in the Marais district (near the Picasso museum), hit up another brasserie for some more wine, take a bottle to go, and end your night on the Pont Des Artistes, spanning the Seine. Tons of young people go and sit there until 2AM, eating, drinking, singing, laughing, making out. It’s romantic, fun, drunk, and beautiful as all hell, and by the time you get back to your bed you’ll both be going mad.

If You Don’t: Head over to the Bastille district, grab a beer or two with whoever you’re with on the steps of the Opera House (the new, less beautiful one), then head up the street to the wonderful concentration of bars there. Move in and out, drinking, chatting, embarassing yourself in French, and see what happens. Far better here than wandering the now-deserted streets of the very center, wondering where all the action is. Now you know.



Cliches abound about Swedish women, although the fact that many of them are blonde and tall and quite beautiful seems to be relatively accurate. You’re going to spend a lot of cash here, so come prepared.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: You need to keep just one single thing in mind. Don’t let her catch you staring at the Swedish girls walking, drinking, or dancing nearby. Seriously, this is way harder than it seems, and although the same kind of thing can happen in Spain or Italy or other countries, there’s something about Sweden (and especially Stockholm) that puts a guy into a guy of overload as soon as he arrives. If a nice vacation with your girlfriend is what you’re after, just stay alert is all I’m saying.

If You Don’t: Well, the previous portion kinda answered this question, did it not? Get your 400 euros or however much you plan on spending at the various Stockholm clubs or bars, head out to one that suits your taste (again, do your research here), and take advantage of the wonderful Swedish education system that means everyone there is already going to be speaking a ridiculously good level of English. Use their blinding attractiveness to your advantage—just pretend they’re all so beautiful and inaccessible that you might as well go for broke and just do whatever comes into your mind (within reason, of course), and it’ll work to your advantage.



This is a different kind of vibe. Berlin isn’t a city that automatically springs to mind when you think of some great European sexy-party destination, but I want to explain why it is.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Make sure she’s one who’s seen and enjoyed Cabaret a few times, and then head out on a tour of Weimar-era Berlin in all its decadent, degraded, hedonistic glory. By the time you’re done staring at transexual dancers and decadent erotic paintings by George Grosz, and have thrown back a few fine German beers, both of you are going to be running back to your hotel to get up to all kinds of strange things.

If You Don’t: Here’s where you’ve gotta get specific—Berlin has a bar or club or entire scene devoted to just about every aesthetic, sexual, or lifestyle choice you could possibly imagine for yourself, so take a look at some listings and try to envision the kind of girl you find the most irresistible. Is it an arch indie-hipster type at a dance/punk club, a sort-of-gothic girl who has about 50 unbelievably amazing tattoos, or a stay-up-all-night Berlin party girl who hasn’t stopped dancing since that giant rave in the 90s? All these types and more are out there, so treat Berlin like the ultimate chance to diversify or specify.



Ah, Spain. Long black hair and beautiful accents speaking a beautiful language and eyes that will destroy you as soon as you step off the plane. Don’t be afraid.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Like before—food, good drinks, walks around the town, followed by you-know-what back at the hotel. This site is just invaluable for this kind of thing. Sometimes the expectation of southern-European romance can work against you, and what should be a romantic and really nice time in a mediterranean city can get wrecked up by the common pitfalls of tourism (transportation headaches, confusion with the city, etc.). Keep a relaxed attitude and don’t try and pack too many common tourist-sites into one day. All the best times (day and night) on a trip come from the unexpected discoveries you make on the trip, not from gawking at the same thing 40 million other people have photographed that year. Remember it and you’ll be far better off in every sense.

If You Don’t: Generally, follow the same rules that you might in Rome—find where the students go and head there. If you find a Botellón in progress, try and join it. What’s a Botellón, you might ask? This is where tons of young Spaniards get together and drink outdoors with beer, wine, and alcohol bought at a supermarket or nearby store instead of going to a bar. It’s slowly being outlawed throughout Spain, so take advantage of a dying tradition, have a few drinks with some beautiful Spaniards, and use that liquid courage to start conversations with them. Spain is generally full of warm and friendly people (yeah, another stereotype, but if you’re out for a few drinks with students it’s generally true) and you shouldn’t have too much trouble.

That’s it, five western-european cities, five of the best places in the world to find some love, whether for a night or something much longer. Did we miss one? Of course we missed one. We missed about 100. Let us know which ones in the comments!

Budget Flights + Beautiful Mediterranean Women = Your New Paradise


Some eleven years ago a sea-change in travel was heralded and the European skies were opened up, freed of their restrictive monopolies, let loose from the lurch of nationalized, profitless zombies and given over to the travellers. No longer would it be necessary to pay hundreds of dollars (or whatever currency you might have been using before the Euro) to visit another world–thanks to Ryanair, EasyJet, and more recently, a lovely spat of low budget competitors, the continent was finally in reach for us all.

While many of these changes brought negative consequences to bear–overloading of key tourist sites, noise pollution, transport crowding, etc. (there’s a big list)–these are relatively minor in the eyes of the red-blooded, excitable English-speaking male, who is mainly concerned about the greatest fringe benefit of all. Yes, the skies opening did bring out our internal Bruce Chatwins, allowed us to eat better than ever before, and see architectural sites and marvels at a frequency previously reserved only for those damn idle rich.

Lovely and amazing, but not the finest priviledge, no; this specific joy isn’t immediately discernible, but it’s this: budget flights brought us into far, far greater contact with females of the Mediterranean disposition than ever before. Ever. No, they didn’t suddenly become any more accessible as partners or all start speaking English at once–but they were there, living, going about their lives, and suddenly in an average year we could spend a few blissful weeks in their presence.


Who exactly are we talking about, anyway? What’s so great about the girls that we can’t find at home, or at worst–on DVD’s like Malena, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, or Volver? It’s hard to say, exactly. Old stereotypes don’t apply as much as they help us, however simply, to articulate an idea our fantasizing can run with. Don’t worry–this isn’t heading off to Africa or China with 150-year old imperial ideas about the unreachable, mysterious, and therefore erotic Other, the one we inevitably exploit and oversimplify. No, this is rather about landing for a weekend in Spain, Italy, or Greece, and simply appreciating–with the utmost joy and fervour–what there is to see, what time and chance have done in creating the women that live in these beautiful places.


Think of it like this: did you see Vicky Christina Barcelona, Woody Allen’s latest film? Scarlett Johansson is in it, and she’s beautiful, so, you know. See it. The entire plot of this fine film was driven by two American women and their inevitable, insane, magnetic attraction towards the Mediterranean Latin-Lover stereotype, played note-perfect by Javier Bardem. All the greatest thrills from the film (besides watching Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johannson make out) came from how effortlessly Bardem was able to work his magic–how he explained exactly how he was going to seduce the girls and then went about doing it with the utmost charm.


And only on a trip to the Mediterranean can you, faithful male reader, submit yourself (willingly) to this very experience (with the genders reversed), as you allow yourself to be utterly bewitched and smitten by every gorgeous Latin dark-haired beauty that saunters through a piazza, drives by you on a Vespa, or catches your eye while she’s deep in conversation with her other seven, beautiful Spanish friends, their language ensaring you just about as much as their curves and eyes.

Try it–sit at a fountain in one of Rome’s piazzas and watch the girls go by while you slug on a beer. Think of Sofia Loren or Monica Belucci and everything that makes them gorgeous and unique, then try and spot one of the dozens of beautiful Italian girls you’ll see walking by with a hint of those features. Or head off to Madrid, visions of Penelope Cruz hitting your eyes as you turn from the sun, nearly losing your mind at a set of smouldering (and there is no other word) Spanish 20-somethings. Try Greece, and sit on a cafe terrace, eating juicy, plump Kalamata olives while you ponder other things of a similar curvature that keep entering your view.


Go ahead, let yourself get lost in a language you don’t understand. Use those out-of-date stereotypes to your innocent advantage and get on board a budget flight to somewhere warm. Wile away your vacation in the best way possible. And hey, when you’re done, go and talk to them. Being out of your element can put you on your game like nothing else, and knowing you probably won’t be back at this particular restaurant, piazza, bar, or fountain for years to come is the ultimate motivation. You never know.