That’s right, here are some of the sexiest cities in Europe, the legendary and the newly-established hotspots where you can arrive, hit the town, and… get it on. Some are classics, some are unexpected, all are full of romantic potetntial you’d be a fool to squander.

Rome

Ah, this is my current city, and thus the one that comes first. It’s the eternal city, as they say, but not necessarily known as the most romantic place on earth—the chaos and improvisational nature of Italian life mean it’s not as easily insta-romantic as, say, Paris. But, hey, it’s Rome, so don’t worry.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Head out for a relaxing walk through some of Rome’s classic old neighbourhoods, ones like Trastevere and Testaccio, until you settle upon a small Osteria for dinner. Use a site like spottedbylocals to pick one that’s authentic and delicious. After dinner, hop in a cab and get back into the historical center, grab a gelato by the Pantheon, and then walk through the small streets until you’re back at your hotel/hostel. Before you go in for the night, throw back a 1-euro coffee in a nearby bar for some extra strength. Get it corretto (correct, which means with a shot of alcohol in it) and you’ll be set.

If You Don’t: It’s legal to drink outdoors in Rome, but if you’re a tourist here, it’s best not to go overboard (actually, it’s currently illegal after 9PM, but hopefully only for a temporary period). They say you’re stuck chatting up other tourists and travellers because of the inaccessible, overly protected ‘Italian female’, but that’s just an old stereotype. Head to San Lorenzo, the student district by the train station, use a site like Roma Zero to find a club night, show, or bar with a DJ that fits what you like, and go in. Drink, dance, and talk to the Italians and see what happens.

Paris

What to say about Paris.. it’s expensive, one of the most touristed destinations on the planet, but also one of the most incredible cities ever. Can you break through the cliched expectations of French romance and actually pull something off? Of course you can.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: You’ve got it easy. Get some good beer at a Brasserie in the afternoon, hit up a chocolate shop or two and keep walking it off, eat somewhere in the Marais district (near the Picasso museum), hit up another brasserie for some more wine, take a bottle to go, and end your night on the Pont Des Artistes, spanning the Seine. Tons of young people go and sit there until 2AM, eating, drinking, singing, laughing, making out. It’s romantic, fun, drunk, and beautiful as all hell, and by the time you get back to your bed you’ll both be going mad.

If You Don’t: Head over to the Bastille district, grab a beer or two with whoever you’re with on the steps of the Opera House (the new, less beautiful one), then head up the street to the wonderful concentration of bars there. Move in and out, drinking, chatting, embarassing yourself in French, and see what happens. Far better here than wandering the now-deserted streets of the very center, wondering where all the action is. Now you know.

Stockholm

Cliches abound about Swedish women, although the fact that many of them are blonde and tall and quite beautiful seems to be relatively accurate. You’re going to spend a lot of cash here, so come prepared.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: You need to keep just one single thing in mind. Don’t let her catch you staring at the Swedish girls walking, drinking, or dancing nearby. Seriously, this is way harder than it seems, and although the same kind of thing can happen in Spain or Italy or other countries, there’s something about Sweden (and especially Stockholm) that puts a guy into a guy of overload as soon as he arrives. If a nice vacation with your girlfriend is what you’re after, just stay alert is all I’m saying.

If You Don’t: Well, the previous portion kinda answered this question, did it not? Get your 400 euros or however much you plan on spending at the various Stockholm clubs or bars, head out to one that suits your taste (again, do your research here), and take advantage of the wonderful Swedish education system that means everyone there is already going to be speaking a ridiculously good level of English. Use their blinding attractiveness to your advantage—just pretend they’re all so beautiful and inaccessible that you might as well go for broke and just do whatever comes into your mind (within reason, of course), and it’ll work to your advantage.

Berlin

This is a different kind of vibe. Berlin isn’t a city that automatically springs to mind when you think of some great European sexy-party destination, but I want to explain why it is.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Make sure she’s one who’s seen and enjoyed Cabaret a few times, and then head out on a tour of Weimar-era Berlin in all its decadent, degraded, hedonistic glory. By the time you’re done staring at transexual dancers and decadent erotic paintings by George Grosz, and have thrown back a few fine German beers, both of you are going to be running back to your hotel to get up to all kinds of strange things.

If You Don’t: Here’s where you’ve gotta get specific—Berlin has a bar or club or entire scene devoted to just about every aesthetic, sexual, or lifestyle choice you could possibly imagine for yourself, so take a look at some listings and try to envision the kind of girl you find the most irresistible. Is it an arch indie-hipster type at a dance/punk club, a sort-of-gothic girl who has about 50 unbelievably amazing tattoos, or a stay-up-all-night Berlin party girl who hasn’t stopped dancing since that giant rave in the 90s? All these types and more are out there, so treat Berlin like the ultimate chance to diversify or specify.

Madrid

Ah, Spain. Long black hair and beautiful accents speaking a beautiful language and eyes that will destroy you as soon as you step off the plane. Don’t be afraid.

If You’ve Already Got a Girl: Like before—food, good drinks, walks around the town, followed by you-know-what back at the hotel. This site is just invaluable for this kind of thing. Sometimes the expectation of southern-European romance can work against you, and what should be a romantic and really nice time in a mediterranean city can get wrecked up by the common pitfalls of tourism (transportation headaches, confusion with the city, etc.). Keep a relaxed attitude and don’t try and pack too many common tourist-sites into one day. All the best times (day and night) on a trip come from the unexpected discoveries you make on the trip, not from gawking at the same thing 40 million other people have photographed that year. Remember it and you’ll be far better off in every sense.

If You Don’t: Generally, follow the same rules that you might in Rome—find where the students go and head there. If you find a Botellón in progress, try and join it. What’s a Botellón, you might ask? This is where tons of young Spaniards get together and drink outdoors with beer, wine, and alcohol bought at a supermarket or nearby store instead of going to a bar. It’s slowly being outlawed throughout Spain, so take advantage of a dying tradition, have a few drinks with some beautiful Spaniards, and use that liquid courage to start conversations with them. Spain is generally full of warm and friendly people (yeah, another stereotype, but if you’re out for a few drinks with students it’s generally true) and you shouldn’t have too much trouble.

That’s it, five western-european cities, five of the best places in the world to find some love, whether for a night or something much longer. Did we miss one? Of course we missed one. We missed about 100. Let us know which ones in the comments!

Alright, we’re back with our second part of how to take things to a physical level when you’re out on a date or just stuck, in general, in a situation that you know could be way better but so far isn’t. If you missed our first part, check it out here.

Remember the crucial things:

People are smart enough to see through most tricks, so that’s not what these are. Tricks don’t work. These are useful methods to integrate into your already-interesting personality, not pre-fab sets of behaviour you can just expect to work like magic. And so, with that out of the way, on with the show:

The Announcement

This one is tricky but works extremely well, because it can be really disarming. If you think the moment is right to, say, try and kiss her (if you’ve been doing some of the other things already, or it just seems like a charged moment and you’re face to face), but you don’t want to lean in without at least something, this is useful.

It not only cuts the pre-kiss tension (which gets built up afterwards in a different way during the kiss), but it leaves you an ‘out’ that a straight-up kiss-attempt won’t grant you.

What you need to do is announce what you’re going to do just before you do it, something relaxed and slightly ironic, like “I think I’m gonna kiss you right now” or some other silliness. And then leave about one second as you move in, which is—if you’re fast—enough time to read how she’s reacting, and also gives her a bit of time to reject it, if that’s the case.

If she says something tough like “oh, not yet” or “not… right now”, don’t fall apart. Be smart about it. Don’t say anything like “fine” or “I see” or “why?” These are all terrible. Just make another joke in the most relaxed way you can, something like “Ah.. good I announced it first, then” and move on immediately. Whatever you do, don’t dwell on what just happened if it didn’t work out. Immediately say something like “so listen” in a positive tone and start in on something else. ASAP. You’ll be fine.

Of course if you don’t get rejected, this method is a hell of a lot more charming than just a blind attempt with your head and mouth.

Using Circumstances

If you find yourself crammed into a little taxi or sharing an armrest at a movie theatre, squeezing together on a subway car or kept in close proximity by how busy the sidewalk is, use this to your advantage. But do it smartly. Don’t act like a little kid winning a prize, treating this unforseen gift of physical closeness as a kind of free pass that allows you to skip a step in moving things forward.

These situations are always really tricky: you don’t want to call too much attention to how close the two of you are for fear of seeming creepy, and you don’t want to ignore it outright, since that’s boring.

Try and walk the fine line in-between the two. If you’re the type that can make a tension-defusing joke here (ie if you can say “hmm, this is wonderfully awkward” without sounding dumb), do it. If not, good luck—this is often the hardest part.

And Sometimes You Don’t

Sometimes the best way to get physical next time is by realizing when it isn’t your time at the moment. Or maybe ever. Don’t worry. You’re a chivalrous dude, not a grunting pig.

Use your intelligence, and if it’s not in the cards, if your other attempts have been met by gentle refuffs, drop it immediately and seriously devote your attention to something else for the evening. If you can’t do that, if your expectations of physical romance can make you completely unfocused once they don’t work out, you’ve got some prioritizing to do.

But if you can move on and still have a great time, things will work out for you. And if they don’t, ultimately? So what. You were mature about it regardless. Don’t pout and you’ll be a better guy for it.

To Conclude

Of course this goes without saying, but every piece of dating/sex advice sorta requires this as a disclaimer, and although it’s a sad situation to always have to put this in, it’s necessary: if she has been rebuffing you in a not-so-gentle way and you’re still trying, stop at once. Go home and re-evaluate what the hell it is you think you’re doing as a man before going on another date and subjecting the opposite sex to your BS.

But that’s not you, right? No, and thank God. Go out there, and actually enjoy the uncertainty, that thrill at the beginning when it’s all on the line, when you’ve gotta take things to the next level and the challenge is to figure out which way (and there are many, as we’ve seen) you’re gonna do it. Be a smart man in every way you can.

Check out the first part of this article here.

Alright, it’s almost Valentine’s Day. Despite our previous article indicating the five things you should not do on this Day—whatever your feelings towards the ‘holiday’ itself—there are still plenty of you that are likely going to do something romantic that day. Hell, I count myself in among that number, even though I like railing against the entirely unnecessary existence of a ‘romance holiday’ in the first place.

How, exactly, to get physical?

But since this day does exist, and since relentless coverage forces everyone, however fleetingly, to acknowledge the concept of sex, love, and romance even for a passing second, why not take advantage of the opportunity and go over some crucial tips on how to take things to a physical level when out on a date. This probably won’t be a Valentine’s Day date, as those are usually for couples. But hey, you never know.

No, this isn’t a complicated seduction website.

This isn’t going to be some elaborate seduction seminar or complicated series of difficult-to-remember conversation moves. For those of you religiously following the ’seduction’ community, more power to you. But this article is for the guys who either a) find the idea of using a full-on behavioural/seduction manual counterproductive to being themselves, or b) guys who already have a bit of game but sometimes have trouble taking it to the next level.

It’s normal; part of the unbelievable fun of seduction and sex is the uncertainty of it all, the notion that for every big chance you might get to spend the night with someone you’ve been after, there’s an equally great chance you could screw it all up. Even—no, especially—with the best of intentions.

With that in mind, here are a few ways to go about taking things to a physical level without a) being an asshole, b) being a passive, unattractive pushover, or c) screwing it all up in the end.

First: one thing to keep in mind before we begin.

Before the list, though, I ask you to keep one thing in mind first, one thing over and above any individual pieces of advice or methods, and that is:

People are smart enough to see through most tricks, so that’s not what these are. Tricks don’t work. A girl is going to know if you’re acting against your nature. She’s going to know if you’re faking a macho personality just to try and impress her, and she’s going to know if you’re hiding a misogynistic side as you attempt to seem ‘down’ with feminism. Don’t act silly.

Now wait, you say—is a girl always going to pick up on this? Well, no. There are plenty of girls who won’t, plenty of girls who really do want that silly macho personality with absolutely nothing behind it. But put it this way: you shouldn’t be going after them, they who are woefully attracted to straight-up, brutally simplistic machismo with no charm attached. You’re an intelligent guy, right? There are millions of intelligent girls, too. They deserve your attention.

Plus: over-the-top macho dudes don’t bother reading articles like this, because they’re putting in hours at the gym, waxing their scrotums, or chauvinistically picking up a certain type of woman who can’t see even a tiny bit through the silly exterior. Leave them to it, and everyone’s happy.

So that means don’t try for women who pose for various racing calendars in skimpy bikinis. By all means, stare at them, enjoy them, all the rest—but don’t chase after them. There’s a whole squad of guys out there already doing it, and they’re spending so many sad, depressing hours on their own appearances that it’s better to just leave well enough alone.

And now, to the advice.

Ok, with that out of the way: you’re out or at home with a girl, things are going well, and you’re in that limbo zone between flirting and making a physical move. How do you do it?

Number 1: Keep it Light

This is one of the most effective methods of seduction in general. If you joke around—play little games, try and make jokes about how, say, she’s gonna be obligated to kiss you on the cheek if you finish that piece of cake first, just little, silly things like that. But keep it light.

Don’t make it obvious that you’re trying to escalate things through a desperate series of little games unless the games are actually fun, or flow somewhat organically out of the conversation you’re having.

In other words: if you suddenly propose a silly game in the middle of a depressing movie you’re both watching (probably not the best choice for a date in the first place), you’re not doing it right. It’s got to flow naturally.

That’s the thing: if any of these moves become obvious, change your course. Obvious is different than noticeable, of course. You want your moves to be noticed—hell, you’re trying to get physical here, damnit—but you don’t want obvious, because obvious is just one small step above desperate, my friend, and that we do not want.

Number 2: The Compliment-Touch

Touch her arm, hand, elbow, shoulder, very lightly, as you compliment on her on something. There are specific rules that go with this one:

• You have to be able to read very well here. There are times when it works, times when it should not be tried. Use your intuition.
• Do it with your fingertip first in an almost-unnoticable way. If it works, you’ve broken the tension and set a kind of electric charge between you.
• This sets up a pattern. Once she does it back, take that as a signal to try it again. If she has absolutely zero response or a negative response, move on.

This is one of the most direct physical moves there is, as it involves touching without many previous circumstances already in place. Read those rules over again.

They aren’t things you have to keep in your head at all times (none of this advice works if you’re constantly trying to remember it all while dating, and acting like a weird seduction-robot), but they are things that stem naturally from acting like this, things that contribute to an overall impression of charm and smoothness you’re trying to cultivate.

More to Come

Click here for part 2 of this article, the other big chunk of remaining advice (we can’t drop too much on you at once) and remember: the one rule to keep in your head above all else is naturalness. No one single piece of advice, no single move or word or gesture will ever compensate for the confidence you project when you’re acting natural, when the things you’re doing on a date look like things you’ve done before, not things you read about once on a website.

That should be at the very front of your mind—until it disappears because it’s second nature (ah, there’s that natural word again).